Thursday, November 4

anticipation

The last supper



I know that I will not be able to sleep. The night before a show is difficult to describe. There is excitement, and anticipation. Its like netting a sweater, for two years and knowing that you are finally going to get to wear it. You almost don’t even care if it fits, cause finally you can put the needles down for a second, and take a breath. After these images and ideas bouncing around in my dreams for years, they finally have been actualized. Seeing the finished work is strange, like I plucked a idea or a thought out of my head and made it real.

On the flip side, there is a sense of terror. Part of taking ideas out of your head and sharing them with others is that it exposes you, you become vulnerable. On the one hand I want feedback from people, I want to push myself further to find what I could do better, but on the other so much of my self worth is tied up in my work, that its incredibly difficult not to take criticism personally.

I have spent so much of my life trying not to be vulnerable. I had to make it work, and i rarely asked for help from anyone (to a fault). When I left home, I didn’t look back. I spent ten years traveling the globe, my point of view was so radically influenced by the breadth of diversity of personalities, geography, good times and bad. The past four years in Vermont have been profoundly impactful. I feel as though it has really solidified my acceptance and understanding of my place in the universe. While I have doubts about the direction of our culture, I take solace in a personal connection to the mysterious everything.

My hope is that people will look at my work and see something new, something they haven’t seen before. I strive to share something magical that challenges how we understand photography and images. There is so much fantastical stuff I want to share with the world, I can only hope that they enjoy what I have to say.

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